It's been forever, guys.
I have not been reading LJ. I've barely been reading email. I'm not really back yet either.
And 2009 is going down as THE WORST YEAR EVER, OMG.
1. Dad-cancer. Really I thought that was enough to make this the worst year ever, omg. Brain tumor/surgery week still reigns supreme as the worst week ever, but my friends, it has now had some serious competition, at least in the Aggravation Category.
2. STOMACH PLAGUE. That's right! Those of you who know me in person, are aware that the last few
months,
years, no wait, actually it's been a
decade long exciting, fun-filled tour of interesting auto immune ailments, and now they've really decided to show what they can do. In a creative entry, my stomach has decided that the occasional insurrection doesn't really reflect its true potential; it's decided to play in the big leagues of full fledged revolt! At increasingly smaller intervals, there's the rending, agonizing, inexplicable stomach pain, the vomiting, and of course, the other humiliating and inconvenient occurrences which I do not wish to describe!
Naturally my insurance company has been extremely helpful.
Oh, right, I live in the United States. So, scratch that, they've been the devil, and not in that as-fair-as-the-morning-star kind of a way.
So first they sent me for a C/T enterography to a
place that doesn't do that test. It's a fasting test, of course, so then I ended up at another hospital, where the tech did it for me "as a courtesy" at the end of his workday, because they felt sorry for me. Test involved drinking a few measly quarts of barium (I now understand that part re: Dumbledore in
HP & the Half Blood Prince excruciatingly well). Test revealed some abnormality in the duodenum. So then my doctor wanted to do the video capsule thing, to see what's going on. Insurance says: Fuck you, not medically necessary. My doctor explains to me that they will instead do a colonoscopy (uncomfortable, humiliating,
doesn't reach duodenum b/c tubing not that long!!!), + biopsy and when they don't find anything (???), perhaps insurance will authorize other thing.
And if I have Crohn's disease (which he thinks might be likely), they might be able to see pitting elsewhere, like the illium.
Fabulous.
Meanwhile, stomach pain continues, at increasingly short intervals, and for greater durations each time. Doctor has prescribed belladonna derivative as anti spasmodic, and gently suggested another anti-spasmodic -- cannabis indica.
I feel drugged all the time, and my nightmares have become intense, and intensely real. Toss up as to which is better -- low levels of pain, or drugged, stupid, logy feeling, with a dollop of insanity to round it off!
Colonoscopy scheduled for this Friday. I'm totally freaked out, and also by the conscious sedation thing. Apparently you don't remember it (??) so though you're awake, it doesn't matter (???). Uh yeah, sounds like fucking retcon and I'm terrified.
3. At the same time, they found FUCKING BEDBUGS in my apartment building. As such, they're doing extreme prophylactic measures. Everything I fucking own is wrapped in air tight plastic bags -- clothes, books, papers, everything in closets; and has to stay that way while the extermination is going on! the procedure for wrapping the couch was so fucked up we just ended up chucking ours. So we don't even have anywhere to sit!
Just call me Job.
I miss you all.
On a cheerier note, an old friend just performed the following at the White House, OMG, and really, I think it might be the best thing ever. It's hip-hop. Subject? Why, treasury secretary, Alexander Hamilton, as narrated by
Aaron Burr. No, really. A-Ham in the house, yo.
I love the expression on the Obamas' faces as they realize what's going down. And also, I find it oddly... moving. I really hope he makes this album. I will totally buy it. =D